One of the things I’ve noticed after years of trying to figure out whether something came from my intuition or from my fear is that it was a lot of trial and error. There was a time when I had no idea what intuition even was — this “sixth sense.” I had no idea. And then I wanted to know how I could stop relying on the external and start making decisions on my own. So I took myself on this path of learning intuition, getting trained in it, and really understanding it well.
But even after that, I’d be lying if I said my path was straight, because it never really is. Intuition isn’t something you can see. It’s just this whisper. This nudge you have. So even when you’re trained, even when you understand intuition, it can be hard — especially when you’re very attached to a decision.
My intent with this post is to help you figure out whether something — a decision you have to make, maybe in your career, your purpose, whatever the case may be — is coming from fear or from intuition, and whether it’s going to be the right call for you or not. With that, let’s get started.
Running Away vs. Running Toward
I’ve had so many instances where my intuition was waving the red flag, saying, “Don’t do this, don’t do this.” And yet I’d end up going down that path anyway because something looked good on paper. In hindsight, I was trying to run away from something rather than run toward something.
That was one of the biggest clues. Now, it’s not that it’s never okay to make a decision when you’re running from something — if you’re in a bad situation, of course you’re trying to get out of it. But the difference is this: the path you say yes to shouldn’t come purely from a place of running away. It also needs to spark real excitement in you — the feeling that you’re running toward something new. You know what I mean?
Let me give you two examples.
Example One: Running Away
There was a time when I was in an okay, average job. I’d been there a long time, and it would have been nice to get something better. So I’d been applying here and there, and I ended up getting an offer. I remember interviewing, meeting everyone — they all seemed super nice, and the offer looked amazing on paper.
When I actually got the offer, though, I wasn’t excited about it at all. In fact, a part of me just dropped, and I thought, “Oh no, now I have to give an answer back to this person.” Things also happened in a weird way at the time — the company really wanted me and said a few things to my manager that made the relationship between us really off and strange. And I ended up taking that job anyway, which turned out to be one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made.
That’s an example of a decision made without really running toward something. Had I been more excited about that role than my current one, I would have genuinely been running toward it, and it might have been a great fit. But I wasn’t. I should have listened to that drop rather than validating my decision based on the awkward dynamic with my manager. My body knew this wasn’t right for me — I had that awareness — but I talked myself out of my intuition anyway. Don’t let that happen to you.
Example Two: Running Toward
More recently, I found myself in an even worse role than that one, and I wanted out. The past year and a half had been miserable because of the job, because of the manager — I don’t even want to get into it, it was that awful. I’ve never had a job that bad, or a manager I genuinely could not work with, for that long.
I started looking for a new role and ended up interviewing for two open positions, both looking great on paper — actually, one looked noticeably better on paper than the other. But during the interview process, as I assessed the vibe of each place and asked my questions, I started feeling more excited about the job that didn’t look as good on paper.
Initially, that job seemed like the weaker option compared to the first. But during the interview, I felt like, “Ooh, this could work in a lot of different ways” — not just because all my experience fit the role, but because I got a great vibe from the personality of the team and how I’d fit in. I really liked where it was going.
I remember thinking: what if I get both offers? What if I get the offer from the place that looks good on paper, where I already know what I’m getting into because I’ve worked in a similar role before, but I’m just not that excited about it? And I remember telling myself honestly: I’m not excited about that one. Yes, it looks great on paper, and maybe the career trajectory would be strong. But the job that excites me is the other one — the one I know that if I learned it really well, I’d be a rock star at it. Not because I’m competing with anyone else, but because I could genuinely be the best at that role, without it taking a huge amount of effort to get there. The other role, by contrast, didn’t give me the best vibe, and it felt like I’d have to put in way too much effort just to be mediocre or slightly above average.
If I’d taken the first role, I would have been running away from something — away from my old job, toward something that was just “okay.” Thankfully, I ended up getting the offer from the second job instead. I remember telling my husband, “Listen, even if I get the first job, I may not take it — I didn’t get the best vibe from some of the stakeholders, and I don’t want to do that again. If I take a job, I need it to be one I can stay in for a long time.”
Luckily, the first offer never came through. The second one did. And I was so excited when I said yes that I wasn’t even thinking about my old job anymore. It wasn’t about proving anything to my old manager — no petty revenge, nothing like that. It was simply, “I’m done with this chapter. I’m so excited to move on.” That’s what running toward something feels like. So far, that decision has been the best move I’ve made in my career and professional life.
Sign #2: You Won’t Need to Talk It Out With Ten People
When a move is right for you, you’re not going to feel the need to process it with ten different people. You might talk to your best friend about it, but deep down, you already know you’re going to do it — because it feels that right, and you don’t need outside validation.
With this most recent role, I genuinely didn’t talk to anybody else about it. I had a few practical questions for HR about work-life balance, and then I called my husband and said, “I’m going to say yes to this — does this look good? Is there anything else I should ask, anything we need to figure out before I say yes?” That was it. Decision made.
Compare that to the worst role of my life — I remember talking to so many people before making that decision. It took me a couple of days, running through all my intuitive tricks, checking in on what was happening in my body, asking myself over and over, “Should I say yes? Should I say no?” I literally talked myself into taking that job, because — supposedly — I’m a pro at doing exactly that. I wasn’t super excited about it, and I took it anyway.
So again: your intuition doesn’t need a nudge when something is right for you. It feels like a hell yes.
One more example, from before I even understood any of this intuition work — years and years back. I got the job at the company that ended up being the best thing that’s ever happened to me, second only to my marriage and my kids. At the time, I was working at a cancer institute, and out of nowhere — I hadn’t even applied — someone found my old resume on Career Builder and called me about this job. Back then, most processes involved five rounds of panel interviews. I had two phone interviews, no in-person meetings at all, and they hired me. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. When they told me I’d gotten the job, I didn’t even have to think. I just said, “Oh yeah, of course I’m taking this.”
Look for those kinds of decisions — the ones that feel like, “Yeah. Duh. Of course I’m doing this.”
Sign #3: Fear Isn’t Always the Enemy
The third thing — and don’t get me wrong on this one — is that fear does show up with intuition too. People love to say “with intuition, there’s no fear,” but that’s not true. In fact, especially when intuition is pointing you toward your own expansion, you’re likely to feel a little fear, because in a way you’re upper-limiting yourself. When too many good things are about to fall into your lap, we upper-limit ourselves and start talking ourselves out of them, because our ego wants to stay in the comfort zone — in the familiar — rather than expand.
So yes, you’ll feel fear. There’s discomfort: “Oh my God, there’s this new thing I’m going to have to learn. How am I going to do it? I don’t know if I’ll be able to.” There’s absolutely an imposter-syndrome voice that shows up.
But that’s very different from survival-level, instinctual fear — the kind that makes you want to run out of the room. Imagine a big snake in front of you; that’s instinctual fear. Or, if you’re interviewing with someone and you just feel, “I want to get out of here, I don’t feel good in this room” — that’s your body telling you it doesn’t feel safe. I’d listen to that, especially when it comes to the people you’re interviewing with. If you get a weird vibe, listen to it.
In my last role, I felt that weirdness with my manager during the interview itself. There were one or two moments where I just felt something was off. I had a similarly bad manager in an earlier job, and I remember feeling that same vibe during that interview too. Always listen to that — it’s your body telling you someone isn’t right for you, that you don’t feel safe with them. If you run a business, pay attention to that same feeling on discovery calls with potential clients. That’s your body telling you they’re likely not going to be a good fit.
The other kind of fear — the fear of expansion — comes with the discomfort of shining your light in the world, which can feel uncomfortable in its own way. That’s resistance more than fear. It helps to understand the difference between survival fear and simple resistance to leaving your comfort zone.
My last role was actually a case of the latter. Even though it looked like something new, it wasn’t real expansion — I was staying comfortably in my comfort zone. I got to do a lot of analysis, stay buried in spreadsheets, hide behind my computer without having to interact with much of anyone, and I told myself, “Ooh, great, I get to do this all day.” I was talking myself into believing I was expanding, when really I was retreating. I know that now because I wasn’t excited about the offer when it came, and it took me a long time to decide to take it.
A Simple Exercise to Learn Your Intuitive Language
One thing that can help you figure out whether a decision is right for you: when you make that big move — the moment something is presented to you — tune into your body and notice what’s happening.
Close your eyes and think back to a time when you made a decision that ended up being amazingly good for your life. Really go back to that moment of saying yes. How does that feel in your body? Where do you feel it? Pay attention to both, and remember them. This becomes your intuitive vocabulary — your body’s version of “yes.”
Now close your eyes again and think of a time you said yes to something that ended up being really bad for you. There may have been signs you ignored, but you said yes anyway. Notice how different that feels in your body compared to the first memory. Make a mental note of that too. This becomes your reference point — your own personal dictionary — that you can come back to whenever you’re making a decision.
The trick is being attuned in the actual moment the decision enters your field — not after the fact. Like the moment I got the call from a hiring manager saying, “You’ve been offered the role.” Right then, you have to tune into your body and notice what you’re feeling. Is it the yes feeling, or the no feeling? That’s the key moment.
What I used to do — and I hope you won’t repeat this mistake — is notice the feeling in the moment, but then keep asking my intuition about it after the fact, trying to talk myself into a “yes” retroactively. It doesn’t work that way. You have to use the moment the decision is actually presented to you. For my current role, the moment it was offered, it felt like a hell yes throughout my whole body. I was so happy, because I really wanted that role, and I would have genuinely grieved it if I hadn’t gotten it.
A Note on Human Design
There are other tools you can use alongside all of this — human design strategy and authority is one of them. I use mine, but I don’t rely on it exclusively, because I’ve noticed it tends to work well for short-term decisions but can be a little vague — and more easily influenced by external energetic noise — when it comes to long-term ones.
That’s actually one of the reasons I’ve stepped back from talking about human design as purely as I used to. There’s a lot of merit in the system, but I’m not as sold on the decision-making side of it as some people make it out to be. In fact, my worst role was a decision I made largely based on my strategy and authority, and I don’t think it was the right call for me — or maybe it was the right call to help me grow into the person who’d eventually be right for a different job. But it also felt like it showed me the longer, harder path, rather than the path of least resistance that my intuition has consistently nudged me toward.
Over to You
If you’re in the middle of making a decision and you’re not sure what to do, what the real conflict is, or where your attention should be — or if you’ve made a decision in the past that you wish you’d made differently — I’d love to hear about it. Maybe there’s something I haven’t covered here that would help you and others too.